45 but fortified? Part 1

Day one of my blog trying to make sense of what being a dad of two at 45 really means. I hope that this may in some small way, help, even, if I were to be so bold, enlighten other 40 something dads or indeed parents in their 40's. It may even shed some light for any long suffering partners / wives out there on what possibly swirls around the mind of the person you share the parental responsibility with. Or in this particular piece, my 45 year old mind at least.  If you're anything like me, you'll think that you aren't good enough, that you don't measure up. A feeling of being third best on a good day. Always thinking that other guys do it better. Me? Well I look at my kids and think I don't deserve their love. If they knew the real me, why would they waste their love and emotional intelligence on me? I hear them tell me they love me. Of course I reply with I love you too. I mean this statement with all of my being and more. I think this is where I struggle at